Jews News Jewn 2007

Hi there Jewbrofans!

In this newsletter you can read about our forthcoming visit to
Australia, three gigs around Auckland and a report on the Kiwiana nationwide tour.

But first...

AUSTRALIAN TOUR: Sydney and the Blue Mountains

Here's the schedule:

Thursday, June 7 * 9pm
Sydney
Golden Sheaf, the pub/bistro
429 New South Head Rd., Double Bay

Friday, June 8 * 8:30pm
Katoomba, Blue Mountains
Triselies $15 entry

Saturday, June 9 * 2:30-3.30pm
Sydney
Darling Harbour Jazz Festival
Harbourside Ampitheatre

Sunday, June 10 * 7:30pm
Sydney
Hakoah Club, Bondi Beach

Sunday June 10 * 3-4pm
and
Monday , June 11 * 12-12.30pm
Sydney
Limmud Oz
at Moriah College, Baronga Avenue, Queens Park

A weekend of Jewish learning which takes place annually and
internationally. People from all backgrounds and from all over the world come to talk on the arts, music, philosophy, film, politics, spirituality etc etc. This year they will even have a kosher theatre sports!

The sessions go all day from 9.00 to 5.00 on Sunday June 10 and Monday
June 11.

We're also doing one performance a the Emanuel School on Friday June
8 for the kids, so as you can see it's a busy long weekend, the
Australian Queens Birthday Weekend actually.

UPCOMING AUCKLAND GIGS

Back home in Auckland, the shtetl where lives the Jews Brothers Band, we have three public performances:

Friday, June 15, * 9pm
Galatos,
17 Galatos Street, Newton

Billed as BOHEMIAN ROOTS SOUND SYSTEM this will be a major concert
with three other artists:
* Mamaku Project, who made a big splash at WOMAD this past March, Club Manouche, featuring Jean Pierre Droiunaud from Paris on Django
style gypsy-jazz guitar
* and the amazing Dj Balkanetic, our favourite DJ, who only plays (would you believe) Eastern European dance music!
Not to be missed. You will really get your money's worth if you come to this gig.
$15 at the door.

Wednesday June 20 * 8pm
One 2 One (formerly Atomic Cafe),
121 Ponsonby Rd

Our "home base" cafe -- it's just us doing a solo concert and they are going to roll back the furniture for a thumping good time.
$10 only! Oy, what a deal!

Remember, most Friday nights, at One 2 One, Linn and Hershal have
their own little New York piano-bar thing going. (He's from there,
she spent 8 years there playing piano-bars.) Jazz standards, French
chansons, Linn's originals, Bacharach, Carole King et al. Both
artistes play the piano but when Linn's on the joanna Hersh attacks
the accordion and there's some nice music-making going on with the
odd muso dropping by to "sit in" with them. Tonight June 1st they're
there, then again June 22nd onwards, 8.30 - 11.30pm. Phone One 2 One
for details 376-4954

Saturday June 23 * 8pm
Titirangi Folk Club, Titirangi Beach Hall

> --

The Kiwiana Tour

First, this from Simon Sweetman, reviewing Linn Lorkin's CD "Kiwiana" in the April 27 Dominion Post:

"It all amounts to a wonderful summer party feel and begs to be recontextualised as a stage show. Lorkin & Co could tour the country from Kaitaia to the Bluff taking in tea-rooms all over New Zealand."

We have news for you, Simon. At the time you were writing, we were busily touring New Zealand from Rawene to Riverton (which is sort of like Kaitaia to the Bluff) with the captivating new Kiwiana Stage Show!!

From cafes to village halls, from big audiences to small, from cities to rural centres, Lorkin & Co performed a totally original kiwi cabaret show and were served a lot of kiwiana suppers on the way. Never have we eaten so many club sandwiches, sausage rolls, asparagus rolls and lamingtons!

We even had delicious pavlova at the Christchurch Folk Club gig -- but Hersh was already hooked on lamingtons and ignored the pavlovas. Chocolate lamingtons, pink lamingtons -- he loved them all, everywhere. Luckily the tour finished just in time to prevent him actually turning into one...

Feedback from local presenters was totally positive and glowing and our tour manager, Steve Thomas of Arts on Tour, so loved our show that he flew to Auckland from Christchurch and became our driver and roadie for our Northland segment.

We are planning to revive the show for early summer and do several more places around New Zealand -- so watch this space!!!

> --

Rouge Records Distribution

We are very happy to announce that all Rouge Records CDs are now being distributed by Roger Marbeck's Ode Records in conjunction with Rhythm Method, NZ's best indie distributor.

Our newest, Linn Lorkin's "Kiwiana" album is available at all good CD stores up to and including ... wait for it ... The Warehouse! And you can also get it from our web site at www.rouge.co.nz. It's the eleventh album issued by Rouge Records, the first having been the inimitable "In A French Cafe" way back in 1993, which we are now repressing with a fabulous new mastering by Alan Jansson. Sounding gorgeous.

And of course there's the follow-up "French Toast", the best party album of all Hershal's "Shoot The Piano Player", Linn's other CDs and all the Jews Brothers Band albums: "Live at Gerhard's", "My Yiddish Swing" and "Too Much Talent".

So go down your local CD store and tell them where they can order your favourite CDs.

> --

JEWISH JOKE TIME

Here's a bit of linguistic fun:

The New York City Board of Education has officially declared Jewish English - now dubbed Hebonics - a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and significant attribute of American culture. According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at Brookyn College and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Prof. Schollman explains: "In Hebonics the response to any question is usually another question - plus a complaint that is implied or stated. Thus, "How are you?", may be answered, "How should I be with my feet?".

Scolman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for
expressing sarcasm or scepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "Sh", or Sch" at the beginning: "Mountains schmountains, stay away. You want a nose bleed?"

Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end with its pronoun at the biginning; "it's beautiful, that dress."

Scolman says one also sees the Hebonics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as, "He's slow as a turtle", could be "Turtle schmurtle, like a fly in vaseline he walks ! ".

Scolman provided the following examples from his best - selling textbook, "Switched - On Hebonics".

Question: "What time is it?".
English answer: "Sorry I don't know".
Hebonic answer: "What am I, a clock?"

Remark: "I hope things turn out OK?"
English response: "Thanks".
Hebonics response: "I should be so lucky!"

Remark: "Hurry up, dinner's ready".
English response: " Be right there"
Hebonic response: " Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry' business? Is there a fire?"

Remark: " I like the tie you gave me: I wear it all the time."
English response: " glad you like it"
Hebonic response: " So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I gave you".

Remiark: "Sarah and I are engaged."
English response: "Congratulations".
Hebonic response: "She could stand to gain a few pounds".

Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when.".
Henonic answer: "Riding shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?".

To the guest of honour at a birthday party:
English remark: "Happy Birthday".
Hebonic remark" "A year smarter you should become".

Remark: "A beautiful day".
English response: "Sure is".
Heonic response: "So the sun is out, what else is new"?

Answering a phone call from son:
Enlgish remark: "IT's been a while since you called".
Hebonic remoark: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead yet?"

And now for a regular joke:

Four Jewish brothers left home for college and became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were going to give to their elderly mother, who lived in another city.

The first said, "I'm having a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I'm having a hundred thousand dollar movie theatre built in the house."

The third said, "I'm having my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600 with a chauffeur.

The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loves the Torah and you know how she can't read any more because she can't see very well. Well, I met this Rabbi who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took ten rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for ten years to the synagogue, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed.

Later, Mama sent out her thank you notes. She wrote:

Dear Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.

Dear Menachim, you gave me an expensive movie theatre with Dolby sound that can hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. But thank you for the gesture just the same.

Dear Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes ... and the driver you hired
is a Nazi But the thought was good. Thanks.

Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you.

Oy!

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Hope you enjoyed this -- we value your feedback. Brickbats and bouquets to jewsnews@jewsbrothers.com.

Shalom already,
Hershal