The Jews Brothers Band in Spain!
Here are some up and coming gigs for The Jews Brothers Band, Orquesta Amadeus and other Rouge Records artistes:
First, this week ...
The Jews Brothers Band - Wednesday, March 31st, One-2-One Cafe: 7:30 till 9:30 pm. Followed by a jam till late. 121 Ponsonby Rd.
Presented by the Creative Jazz Club (CJC) admission $7 for members, $5 for non-members.
Orquesta Amadeus - Thursday, April 1st ... at the Grand Central bar: 9pm till 12pm 126 Ponsonby Rd. free admission.
Orquesta Amadeus - Saturday, April 3 ... at the Tauranga Jazz Festival (In the Baycourt Theatre's "Jazz Club") 7.30pm
http://www.jazz.org.nz/festival-programme.html
..... and finally this week
The Jews Brothers Band - Sunday, April 4 ... also at the Tauranga Jazz Festival (and again at the Jazz Club) 9:30 pm.
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Then, coming soon ...
Linn Lorkin & the Larrikins, Friday April 9th 8.30 - 11pm and every Friday thereafter. Linn is off to NY in May to present her new one-woman show, The Happy Hour & 1/2, so come in and hear her in this informal, intimate setting before she takes off.
The Jews Brothers Band - Saturday, April 10 , at the Monte Cristo room, under Toto's on Nelson Street, downtown Auckland.
... this is yet another in the series of very successful Gypsy Fever shows that some of you may have attended in the past. Sharing the spotlight this time will be: ... Niko Ne Zna, an amazing Balkan brass band from Wellington
as well as DJ Belleville, (who are members of the The Mamaku Project). The programme kicks off around 10pm.
http://www.monkeyrecords.com/monkey/
"Chanson", a cabaret show with Linn Lorkin, Hershal Herscher and Anna Rugis, Sunday April 11th, 2pm at Nightingales, 31 Church St., Devonport, Ph. 445 - 9550 for bookings and more details on our web-site: www.rouge.co.nz
Orquesta Amadeus at Grand Central Thursday April 15. Grand Central Bar: 9pm till 12. 126 Ponsonby Rd.
(remember: Amadeus at Grand Central is on-going: every second Thursday night).
The Jews Brothers Band, Wednesday April 28 at the Cambridge Autumn Festival. 7:30 pm.
http://www.cambridgeautumnfestival.co.nz/
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And now it's the well-loved Jewish Jokes Section
David invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful the woman was that shared David his flat with. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between David and this shickser, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between David and this woman than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts, David volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking mum, but I assure you, Mary and I are just flat mates."
About a week later, Mary came up to David and said, "ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver soup ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" David said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an email just to be sure."
So he sat down at his laptop and wrote: "Dear mum, I'm not saying you did take a soup ladle from my home, and I'm not saying you didn't take a soup ladle, but the fact remains that one has been missing since you came over for dinner."
A few days later, David received an email from his mother which read:
"Dear David, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Mary, and I'm not saying that you don't sleep with Mary, but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed she would have found the soup ladle by now. Love, Mum."
*****
Bill Gates recently advertised for a new chairman of Microsoft Europe.
Five thousand candidates respond and assemble in a large room. One of them is Isaac Ginsberg, a little Jewish man from Israel.
Bill Gates thanks the candidates for coming, but asks all those not familiar with the JAVA program language to leave.
Two thousand people stand up and leave the room.
Isaac Ginsberg says to himself: "I do not know this language, but what have I got to lose if I stay? I might as well give it a try!"
Bill Gates then asks all those who have no experience managing teams of more than a hundred people to leave.
Another two thousand people stand up and go.
Isaac Ginsberg says to himself: "I have never managed anybody but myself, but what have I got to lose if I stay? What can possibly happen to me?"
Then Bill Gates asks all candidates who do not have outstanding academic qualifications to please exit the room.
Five hundred more people stand up and go.
Isaac Ginsberg smiles and says to himself, "Oy... I left school at 15, but what's the big deal if I stay?"
So he stays in the room.
Finally, Bill Gates asks everyone remaining who does not speak the Serbo-Croatian language to rise and leave. Four hundred and ninety-eight people get up and leave the room.
Issac Ginsberg chuckles and says himself, "So.. I don't speak Serbo-Croatian, but what the hell! I got nothing to lose!"
He finds himself alone in the room with only one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Curious, Bill Gates gets down from the stage, joins them, and says: "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian. I'd like to hear you converse with each other in Serbo-Croatian right now."
Calmly, Issac turns to the other candidate, clears his throat, and says: "Baruch atah Adonai."
The other candidate smiles, bows his head, and replies: "Eloheinu melech ha'olam."
(Explanation for all Goyim: These are the opening 2 phrases of every Hebrew prayer)
*****
A Golden Oldie:
Beyond Devotion...............
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going
to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was,
walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he slowly picked up
his cane and turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. May I ask your name?"
"Morris Fishbein," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years,” he replied.
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for
all the wars and all the hatred to stop.
I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to
love their fellow man."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a freakin' wall."
******
Shalom already,
Hershal